I’ve been thinking a lot about this topic lately, given it’s the new year. If you’re anything like me, you see all the various posts on social media about setting visons and goals, planning your year, year in review practices and other types of aspirational goal setting posts. It can all seem a bit overwhelming. I often don’t know what I should be journaling about. I can’t seem to see the year ahead and I don’t really know what is feasible to be focusing on. If any of this challenge resonates with you, you’re not alone. It feels like we’re supposed to have this all sorted. We’re supposed to know what to do this year and how it fits into our life goals and purpose. Social media and the online environment would have us believe that we should be more organised and focused than we actually are, which can leave us feeling a bit lost and maybe questioning whether we’re actually doing the best with the time we have. There are so many choices and paths that we could take.
Maybe it’s because I’m in the mid-life crisis zone of life, but I do sense the pull towards questioning things in my life and asking whether I’m on the right track. Have I set suitable goals and am I living in line with the values and intentions I’ve set for myself..? I think this stems from constantly seeing all the edited and curated lifestyles portrayed online, which I’m always reminding myself I need to step away from and get some dose of reality. There’s an inherent danger of feeling like you don’t measure up and that you’re not as accomplished and put together as others. It can feel a bit overwhelming (and sometimes depressing) to not have your life ‘figured out’ sufficiently and to know exactly where you’re heading. As I keep needing to tell myself, life is messy and complicated. It doesn’t always go as planned and to be satisfied with what I have, not always wanting more. Yes, being ambitious is important and we need to be planning so we can achieve the things we really want. No one gets anywhere meaningful in life if they don’t consider the journey, anticipate the obstacles and make a plan to get to the destination. There is danger in not planning, to be sure, but sometimes it can get out of hand.
Planning isn’t just about knowing what you want; it’s about making it manageable. Let’s explore a few ways to keep goal-setting practical and not overwhelming:
Step away from the online world more frequently. For me this is deleting social media apps for a period of time, just to reset my understanding of reality. Social media paints an unrealistic view of the world and people. It’s only a portion on real life, one that the creator has orchestrated for a specific outcome. They want me to feel a certain way or create a want for something that I don’t previously know I wanted.
Spend time with those less fortunate. This might be friends and family, volunteering at a church or social outreach cause, visiting people in hospital, cooking a meal for someone in need. The list goes on. Looking outside yourself is a great way to bring much needed perspective and recalibrate how much we actually do have.
Write down things to filter your thoughts. I’ve found journaling to be really helpful for getting my thoughts out of my head and onto paper. I like using the ‘Morning Pages’ approach, from Julia Cameron (The Artist’s Way). It’s basically just a stream of consciousness, writing whatever comes into your mind while you’re sitting down to write. She suggests 3 pages be completed, but I find any amount is better than nothing. I usually write one full page; if things are flowing, I keep writing. I don’t try to pressure myself into doing things exactly as prescribed, but just showing up is the important bit. This practice is good to get those thoughts out onto paper, in a somewhat legible way. You’ll find when you process your thoughts and write things down, your mind untangles things in way that helps clarify your thinking. This has been hugely valuable for me over the years.
Discuss with your partner, trusted family member and/or friends. Sometimes we can feel vulnerable to express what we really think or what we want. Opening up to others is important for clarifying our ideas and plans. Getting feedback, having our thoughts challenged and hearing other people’s dreams and goals is an important way to direct our thinking and planning. Be careful with who you share with though. Not everyone wants to see you succeed, but those seek out those vital relationships you have, which are crucial to achieving what you’re capable of.
As an adviser, I always encourage people to have plans, be working towards goals and dreaming about what life could be like. Planning and implementation are the critical elements to creating a life you love and one that you enjoy living. Is it getting out of debt, learning a language, changing careers, moving to a new place or getting into shape..? All these things will only happen with concerted effort and planning is the best way to know what is required. Counting the cost, as they say, ensures you have at least some idea of what the path ahead will look like. Planning and reviewing your actions regularly to stay aligned to your goals is the path to achieving your desired outcomes.
What does your new year practice look like..? Do you make resolutions..? Do you review the year just gone and make plans for the coming year..? Or are you just in survival mode and and feeling like you’re on a galloping horse, with one foot stuck in the stirrup, just hanging on..?
Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to goal-setting. It's all about finding what works for you and being kind to yourself along the way.
Keep learning, keep improving
Tim
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